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so i looked at this photo and now i’m crying

not full fledged sobbing, but there are tears rolling down my face.

i’m not sad about it being over.
i’m one of those people that refuses to let it be over.
I’m one of those people that will grow up and read the harry potter series to my children instead of letting them fall asleep watching the disney channel.
i’m one of those people who grew up, and only had harry potter to turn to when i needed someone.
i started reading the books right around the time my life really started to become messed up, and i saw the last movie the day after i finally kicked my father, whose caused me a lot of emotional and mental trauma, out of my life for good.
I grew up with the characters.
Harry, who showed me even when the battle gets too hard to face you still keep fighting.
Ron, who taught me that loyalty is one of the best qualities you can have, and that standing up for your friends is one of the most noble and brave things you can do.
Hermione, who taught me that trying to fit in and be popular and be gorgeous weren’t the only things that a girl should need to be, and that a clever mind and the strength to carry on were qualities i needed much more.
Neville, who taught me to believe in myself even when no one else around you does, and to keep fighting to get it right, no matter how many times you get it wrong.
Snape, who taught me that behind every mask of a seemingly hard or angry or dark human being, there is always a story that will break your heart.
Fred and George who taught me that even in my darkest days, a laugh will help me through it, no matter how tough that may be.
The entire Weasley family, who taught me that family is the most important thing you can have.. whether they are actually related to you or not.
And Luna, whose message I had never quite grasped until the very, very end. A character i had always loved, but kept pushing away. I had always striven to be like Hermione as a child, forcing myself to become the brains, the anxious, the sometimes prissy, and often close-minded girl I had deemed my idol so long ago. But there was Luna. A quiet girl with many ideas, some more farfetched then others, an outlandish taste in life, but no matter how much she had been through she managed to always keep her cool and carry on through it. The girl I had pushed away and refused to accept was the girl I really am inside. Not the shell of Hermione I’d been trying so hard to be for so long. And the girl I’m trying to get back to today.
 
And I sit here and I look at this and I realize like Harry, I’ve grown up through this. My childhood is ending, there aren’t anymore books, and pottermore has decided I’m not worthy of getting my final email. I faced my battles, I’ve battled my demons, and as much as I thought sometimes I wouldn’t make it through, I did.
 
And it’s all over. I’ve learned the lessons JK Rowling has given me, and I’ve tried to be strong and carry on through this with it being over.
 
It’s the one thing I ever get emotional about. It’s the one movie I’ve ever cried through. It’s the one thing I have that truly distinguishes my childhood.
 
And that’s why I’ll never be able to let it go.


09/03/11 / with
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